FAQs

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The 5 W's & How (What, When, Who, Why, Where)

What is sexual abuse?

Sexual abuse can be defined in many different ways, but the way we define sexual abuse is any form of unwanted sexual contact toward a minor (someone 17 years old or younger).

What is sexual assault?

Sexual abuse can also be defined in many different ways, but the way we define sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact toward an adult (someone 18 years old or older).

When does abuse typically occur?

Most children are abused before the age of 10 years old, but children are abused at all ages.

Who does this?? Is an abuser always a stranger?

No, in the majority of cases, the abuser knows the child well. The abuser is often a family member or family friend. In fact, the abuser will often be very, very nice to the child before hurting them. This is called "grooming" - it allows the abuser to earn the child's trust. Only in a small percentage of cases is the abuser a total stranger.

Can sexual abuse be committed by someone other than an adult?

According to the way we define sexual abuse, yes. If you were 6 years old when your brother, who was only 10, touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable, that can be sexual abuse. If you were 16 years old when your 16 year old boyfriend forced sex on you, that is rape. Sometimes it is an adult that perpetrates sexual abuse/assault, but it can be someone your own age or someone who is still under the age of 18.

Who is most often abused?

Both boys and girls are sexually abused. 1 out of 4 girls is sexually abused and 1 out of 6 boys is sexually abused.

Why does this happen? Why do people do this??

We don't really know why. People abuse children for many different reasons, but the important thing to know is that it is never right or Ok, regardless of why.

Where does this happen?

Children are abused in many places. This can include their own home, their school, a friend, neighbor or family member's house or a playground.

How does this happen?

There are lots of different behaviors that are abusive. Sometimes adults make children look at parts of their body or want to look at a child's body. Other times adults want to kiss and touch the child's body or want the child to kiss and touch them. Other times, the adult wants to have sex with the child. It doesn't matter what happens though: if an adult looks at you, kisses you, or touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomforable, icky or embarrassed, even if you think it might be Ok, it is always important for you to tell an adult that you trust.

How does sexual abuse affect girls?

Sexual abuse affects people in many, many different ways. Some of the consequences of sexual abuse can include depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, substance abuse, self-injury, difficulties with interpersonal relationships, and post traumatic stress disorder. But it doesn't have to be this way!! Getting help and treatment reduces the liklihood of all of these outcomes.

 

Child, Teenager, and Survivor Questions

Where do I go for help?

The first thing to do is tell someone and keep telling people until someone is supportive. Maybe that's a parent, a friend, a teacher or the police, but the most important thing is to keep telling people you trust until someone is willing to help. Also, check out this link for resources: http://www.theglobalsisterhood.org/support-services

I'm a survivor, but I'm embarrassed to tell anyone. Why can't I just keep it a secret?

Almost all survivors feel embarrassed or ashamed because of what happened to them, but you are not alone! 1 out of every 4 girls is sexually abused or assaulted at some point in her life...1 out of 4!! Unfortunately this is happening to a ton of girls out there and no survivor should have to get through sexual abuse on their own. Once you tell someone, you can start to work towards healing. Our secrets keep us sick so tell someone.

What if I tell someone and they don't believe me?

Sexual abuse is a hard thing for people to talk about, which means that some people would rather pretend it doesn't exist than actually deal with the reality of it. But if someone doesn't believe you, you just need to tell someone else. And you need to keep telling people you trust until someone is willing to believe you and help you.

Ok, I'm still not ready to tell anyone close to me, but I would like to talk to someone without my parents knowing...is that possible?

Yes! If you are between the ages of 12-17, you are entitled to a certain number of therapy sessions without needing parental consent. Check out this link: http://locator.apa.org/ to find a therapist near you.

I'm a survivor and I feel like the abuse is my fault...isn't it?

Lots of survivors feel guilty about the abuse and wonder if it is their fault in some way. But sexual abuse and/or assault is NEVER your fault. No matter what the circumstance, it is never your fault. Period. It doesn't matter if you didn't fight back, if you didn't say no, if it ever felt good, if you were wearing something sexy, if you never told anyone...none of that matters. It is never your fault.

Are there mental health resources and services in my community that can help me be assessed and treated?

Yes! Please go to this link: http://locator.apa.org/ to find a therapist near you.

I'm a survivor and I'd like to participate in TGS. How do I do that?

So great to hear!! Shoot us an email and let us know you're interested in being a Sister...we'd love to have you!

 

Parent/Guardian Questions

How do I know if my child has been a victim of sexual abuse?

This is a difficult question to answer because sexual abuse affects people in many different ways. That being said, you should check in with your child if there are any major changes in personality or behavior. These things might include: a drop in grades, sexually acting out, anger/irritability, intense sadness/dysphoria, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and an increase in problematic behavior, such as staying out past curfew, using drugs and/or alcohol, vandalizing others’ properties, stealing, etc.

As a parent what can I do to keep my children safe?

I am so glad you asked! There are lots of things that you can do. The first and possibly most important thing is talk with your kids as early as you possibly can. When they are little, you can talk to them about good touch and bad touch and the importance of not keeping secrets, especially from Mom and Dad. As they get older, you can talk to them about how their bodies are sacred and how they are in charge of them. You can show this to them as well...if you're tickling them and they say no, it's a good idea to stop! Why? Just that simple behavior starts to teach them that their voice and the word "No!" has power. You can also monitor who they are hanging out with. Get to know their friends and get to know their parents. Make sure you feel comfortable with your children's parents before allowing them to attend sleepovers or spend any significant amount of time at someone else's house. If something seems strange, trust your instincts. Ask questions. Be curious about what your children are doing. Make sure their friends feel welcome at your house. The best thing you can do to keep your children safe is be involved.

What if my child tells me that they have been sexually abused?

The first and most important thing to do is believe them. What research is very clear about is that children do not make up untrue stories about abuse. If your child is telling you someone hurt them, believe them. Support them, hug them, tell them it's not their fault and that you love them. Once you've supported your child and let them know that you believe them and you're going to do whatever you can to protect them, get authorities involved and call the police.

 

The Global Sisterhood Questions

Does The Global Sisterhood offer free services?

Absolutely, 100% free.

How can I help other women and girls who have experienced abuse?

Join The Global Sisterhood in our fight against sexual abuse! Check out this link to see all of the different ways you can participate: http://www.theglobalsisterhood.org/get-involved

How can I help?

There are so many ways you can help! Check this out for some of your options:

Is The Global Sisterhood only about sexual abuse?

Not at all. We teach and talk to girls about a variety of topics such as dating, healthy relationships, friendship issues, domestic violence, and media's impact on girls' identities. And we talk about all this stuff in a way that's interesting, fun and educational!

Where can I find your blog?

Right here: http://www.theglobalsisterhood.org/blog

Are you on social networking sites, like Facebook?

Yup! Check us out here: http://theglobalsisterhood.org/follow-us

If I donate, what exactly am I donating to? Where is my money going?

Right now, your donation will help us market and advertise our services, maintain our website, allow us to purchase start-up materials to begin our after-school program and help run workshops to train our TGS Chapter Facilitators. As TGS expands, your donation will help us rent and maintain an office space, continue to provide our services for free and help us expand across the country and eventually around the globe.